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Chinese Parent Story


举例来说,儿子每天会无数次的要求“妈妈,能陪我去厕所吗?”而当她心情好时,会回应“你已经快要九岁了,你可以自己去的”,而心情不那么美丽时,她会斥责“你都多大啦,还要求我陪,自己去!”就如绝大多数的妈妈一样,骂完孩子,尤其是看到他们难过委屈走开的样子,心理又会无比愧疚。在长期的纠结迷惘中,Margret偶然听到朋友推荐Whanau Marama Parenting的亲子教育中文课程,她决定参加试试,看看能有些什么帮助。



Margret and her husband have been living in New Zealand from China for almost a decade, and they have a nine-year-old son. She always felt a headache on how to properly discipline this boy. Margret is working hard on managing her emotions, not to whimper her son, doing her best to understand her boy’s psychological needs and trying to communicate effectively with her son. However, she felt it is extremely challenging that her patience is probably coming to the end.

For example, her son asked frequently each day, “Mom, can I go to the toilet with you?” When she is in a good mood, she normally responds “You are almost nine years old and you can go by yourself.” But if her mood is not beautiful, she may reprimand him with “how old are you? You ask me how many times about it! Go to toilet your self!” Just like most of the mums, they  feel guilty after they have been grumpy with their children, especially when children quietly and sadly walk away. Being struggling and confused in a long period of time, Margret heard one of her friends recommended the Mandarin Parenting courses at Whanau Marama Parenting. She decided to attend one and see what could be helpful.

After completed two out of ten sessions, when she returned home satisfyingly, her son came and asked again, “Can I go to the toilet with you?” Her response was different from what she used to be, saying warmly “Mum knows you may be a bit scared to go to the toilet by your self. When mum was little just like you, even you are braver than me. Are you afraid of monsters or bad guys suddenly appear in the toilet? So, mum is just standing here where is only five steps from there to see you walk in. Once you find there are something, you call me loudly and I am going to help you immediately.” This boy agreed and did it without doubt. After that he proudly told his mum,” I went to the toilet by myself, “and curiously asked, “Why did you talk to me so patient without being angry this time?” Margret replied “because mum is attending a parenting course recently.” The son continued sincerely “Please learning harder.”

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